Schmoozing for the Shy

I read this post on overcoming shyness and really enjoyed it. I wouldn’t consider myself shy, but there were major times in my life that can be labeled as socially awkward.  I think the blog (The Jobbershop) gave one really great tip for how to work through shyness in order to schmooze:

Have a purpose: For some shy people, it is much easier to interact with others when you have a reason rather than just coming up to them “cold”. Here are a few examples of having a purpose to your networking event:

• Volunteer at an event-My favorite type of networking events were when I would volunteer at workshops, conventions, etc. I felt that if I had a purpose, such as maintaining a certain area or providing customer service, then it was easier to engage in conversation with others. In fact, people will seek you out because they may need your assistance. As a shy person myself, the initial approach is a huge source of my anxiety; volunteering at an event cuts down the probability that I will have to be the initiator.

Network via social media before an initial meeting- If you are going to a conference/event try searching Facebook to see if the event has a group page or even do a twitter search to see if others are talking about it. You may even want to pose a question yourself via twitter so that others may reach out to you. Point is, meet people before the event and get to know them a bit online. Then set up a time or place to meet at the networking event.

I found another article from shakeyourshyness.com written from the shy perspective.  It’s interesting because shyness can be a double edged sword in the the business world:

Many shy people thrive in the business world because it provides us with a “role” to play that legitimizes the things we do.  As long as we’re acting “on behalf” of the company or in the best interests of someone else, we find the strength to do great things.  But ask us to step outside that role—let’s say, at the holiday office party, on the company softball team or in the boss’ office to negotiate something for ourselves and it’s over.  We melt, if not dissolve, as our self-confidence crumbles.  Then again, for some of us, there is no such thing as a safe place in the business world, because few if any social interactions are tolerable.  For us, our only hope is to find a position that requires little or no interaction with other people—as a bookkeeper, a computer programmer or maybe a night janitor.

But the saddest part about shyness in the business world is not the discomfort it causes us, but the opportunities we miss as we sit back in staff meetings, training sessions and business negotiations silently watching as our colleagues speak up and reap their rewards while we’re still formulating our thoughts.

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